The 90th Percentile

Being in the 90th Percentile SUCKS!

Not trying to toot my own horn, however, being smarter than 90% of the population is worse than being in the top 10%...

The problem lies with not having the ability to be extremely happy with what you have around you, and what is going on in your life, and being naive about the things that you aren't doing well.

For example... Okay, this is just too hard to explain in an example, lets try something else.

What if, you were in a position in you're life where you are happy, and content.  The people around you are thinking, "what is that person's problem?"

You feel as though you are doing everything right, and couldn't see how you couldn't advance in your life and career.  Other people's thoughts, "Why do they never seem to get it, I can tell them 50 times, they seem to agree, but continually do it 'wrong' but in different ways every time?"

Now, think about it from the 10% perspective.  You go up to a 90%'er and ask them a question you already know the answer to, but are trying to help them get to the answer them self.  They then stumble on the question, and tend to go in circles looking for an answer.  During the moment they are strumming up a response, you are getting frustrated because you can't understand why this question seems to be one of the hardest questions in the universe.  This question is something that the general population wouldn't be able to answer, but a question about something they do everyday, something they do as a second nature, but, when asked the question, they cannot put it into words, or maybe not even think about it.

MAYBE they are over complicating the question, and trying to look much deeper into the question.  Maybe I'm the 90% and they are the 10%, maybe they think that I'm the idiot for answering the question.

However, once frustrated to the point that I must spell it out for them, they do one of the old, "oh, yah, I understand."

Why would they stop there though, why couldn't they give input to the answer they should've given, or at least something relatively close to the similar information expected.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say I'm perfect in any way, but being the person on the outside (top 10%) you view everything you are doing in your life, and career, PLUS the other 90%.  You are constantly thinking about your life, and need to depend on the 90%, but they just don't seem to get it.  You surround yourself with a few people (I mean FEW) as your close friends, only because you feel they are in the 10% with you.

It even gets to a point, where we (10%) has to screw with each other's minds to stay entertained.  Just today I was trying to make a point about something, my friend played dumb, and brought up a stupid rebuttal.  I took a second to entertain his rebuttal with a response (whilst getting frustrated) just to see him laugh, and say, "I know, just screwing with ya."

He was on the same page as me, and obviously bored with the conversation, he just felt like getting a rise out of me to keep the conversation somewhat interesting.  Does this mean the majority of those involved in the conversation were of the 90%?

I'm trying to do my best to explain this, although it makes me sound conceded, and self absorbed, but, this isn't my intention as I don't feel that way (for the most part).  I want you to understand the view I have with life.

Maybe it's a type of mind that is more strategic, or more mathematical, I'm not sure...  Maybe someone has an answer for me, to help me... LOL

Current Playlist

Hello All:

I know I haven't posted in a LOOOOONNNGGG TIME!  However, I want to get back into it, by the end of April I'll have more time in my personal life.

Anyways, to the point, I've had a few requests for my taste in music.  I went through all my music and made a new playlist.

There are some names that are a little skewed and I'm sure you know why.

Well, here it is :):

ACDC-   tnt	ACDC-   tnt
addicted.	Saving Abel
Aerosmith - Dream On
Alberta Bound	Paul Brandt
Ass Like That (Produced By Dr. Dre & Mike Elizondo)	Eminem
Bare Naked Ladies - One Week
Beat It	Michael Jackson
Beautiful Girls	Sean Kingston
Beverly Hills	Weezer
Beyonce Feat. Jay-Z - Crazy In
Big Green Tractor	Jason Aldean
Big Weenie (Produced By Dr. Dre)	Eminem
Billy Talent - Red Flag
Black Sabeth - Crazy Train
Bleed It Out	Linkin Park
Blue and Yellow, Purple Pills	D12 feat. eminem
Blue Jeans	Silvertide
Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams	Green Day
Breakeven	The Script Cover Max & Kurt Schneider
Bryan Adams - Summer of 69
Burn It To The Ground	Nickelback
Cee Lo Green-Forget you
Celebrity Status	Marianas Trench
The Chocolate Starfish - Hot Dog	Limp Bizkit
Club Can't Handle Me (feat. David Guetta)	Flo Rida
Convoy	Paul Brant
Copperhead Road	Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Dani California	Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Dead And Gone	T.I ft Justin Timberlake
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
Devil's Daughter	Silvertide
Dr. Dre with Snoop Dogg - Still Dre
Drinkin' Buddy	Gord Bamford
The Eagles-Hotel California	The Eagles-Hotel California
Eminem feat. Nate Dogg - Shake That Ass
Fancy Footwork	Chromeo
the flavor of the Week	American Hi-Fi
Follow Me	Uncle Kracker
Forgot About Dre	Dr. Dre Ft. Eminem
Get Up [Main EQd]	Ciara
Good Feeling	Flo Rida
Guns N Roses - Paradise City
Guru Josh Project - Infinity 2008 (Radio Edit)
Heart_-_Crazy_on_You	Heart
Hillbilly Deluxe	Brooks & Dunn
Holiday	Green Day
Humans Being	Van Halen
I'm On A Boat (Feat T-Pain)	The Lonely Island
Im In Over My Head	Lit
International Harvester	Craig Morgan
Into The Night	Santana & Nickelback
Island In The Sun	Weezer
It Will Rain	Max Schneider & Olivia Noelle
Joe feat Mystical - Stutter (Remix)
Just A Dream by Nelly - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie
Kick It In The Sticks	Brantley Gilbert
Krazy (Feat. Lil Jon)	Pitbull
The Lazy Song	Bruno Mars
Let's Ride & Get High	Bone Thugs N Harmony & BIGGIE
Lie to me	George Nozuka
lighters	Bruno Mars ft. Eminem
Lil Wayne - Lollipop
Lonely Day	System of a Down
Ludacris - Blueberry YumYum
Ludacris - Whats Your Fantasy
Lupe Fiasco-Show Goes On
Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Fishing In The Dark
Ooh Aah	Grits/Tobymac
Over and Over	Three Days Grace
Please Don't Stop the Music	Rihanna
Pretty Fly	The Offspring
Ride Wit Me	Nelly
Right Round	Flo Rida
Rollin (Uncensored)	Limp Bizkit
Sail	Awolnation
Scotty Doesn't Know	Lustra
Show Me The Money	Petey Pabloe
Sing For The Moment	Eminem
Six Feet From the Edge	Creed
Smooth Criminal	Alien Ant Farm
Something In Your Mouth	Nickelback
Superman	Eminem
try honesty - try honesty	billy talent
The Way I Are	Timberland
rolling in the deep	Sam Tsui & Tyler Ward

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask.  Cheers

The High School Sweetheart Syndrome

This may not what you expect at first.   But I can be a surprising guy..

Marrying/Living with your 'highschool sweetheart' has always  bothered me.  I know for sure that if I had done this I would be unhappy with my life.I would be filled with regret and longing.

I have observed couples who married very young. They end up trapped by the familiarity and comfort. And too afraid to act upon their agonizing emptiness and wondering what if...

Don't get me wrong here! If you are in a HS (High school Sweetheart) relationship and you are loving it  then I’m not talking about you.

My high school relationship started in the second half of my grade nine year. I was 14.

This relationship lasted lasted up until  the last day of high school.  Four Long Years. Long.

I felt happy in the first year.  But quickly it grew to be a very controlling, trustless and painful relationship.  I eventually had to talk to my HS girlfriend constantly. Late in the evening when I went to bed I had to talk to her on the phone  so 'we' could go to bed at the same time. It was nauseating.

She was a few years younger than me so she wasn't allowed out as late as I was once I got my freedom from being able to drive.  Her 'controlling' behaviour   turned me into an automaton. Like Pavlov’s dogs I knew that once I called her to say 'goodnight,' I could then go out and finally have fun with my real friends.  She was happy knowing I was behaving and I was happy pretending to do what she demanded I do. I became uncomfortable having her around my friends because of the chance of her finding out I wasn't going to bed when I said goodnight to her.   Our dependence upon each other grew this way. My life was shaped around her demands and my performances for her. And, in her mind, she was comforted knowing we would ALWAYS be together. Even though when we were together we both felt completely alone.

As unhealthy as this was I am grateful for the experience. I learned more from this relationship then I did from my lame Computer Science class.

How did I find the strength to break the codependent spell and walk away?

One thing: COLLEGE.

She told me repeatedly I could not leave town without her. These were her orders. It was habit to agree with her, and be there for her, despite most of her orders conflicting with what I needed and wanted.  But once I visited my college campus and tasted the freedom of a town and life without her it became apparent how unhealthy our relationship was.

I knew, finally that it had to end.

I was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life up to that point.

Dozens of times I had tried to break up with her because I hated the feeling of being so silenced and controlled. I was a teenager! I just wanted to go and have fun! But I was living the life of an elderly long-married unhappy man or a baby. The fun I'm talking about was simply, hanging out with my friends, and not having to call anyone to tell them I was going to sleep.

Each time I had tried to end it, I was told many things. She manipulated me with made up problems from, 'I'm pregnant!', to 'I can't live without you, and don't worry about me because I won't be on this planet anymore!'.  Her suicidal gestures felt genuine because she was a cutter - she would make herself bleed when she was stressed out!

If felt more comfortable to stay with her than to face her threats and emotional abuses.   This comfort and fear was what I mistook, back then as a High school Sweetheart, for love.

To end it, I had to rely on the phone, because I could not handle the face to face. If I tried to end it face to face I would have fallen apart and been unable to end it.
So I called, and said,
'It's over, i can't handle this anymore, goodbye.'  And hung up, turned off my phone.
It was great timing because a friend stopped by and asked if I wanted to help another friend move some stuff to a town about 3 hours away.  I felt free, I didn't have to call anyone, I could just go, and DO what I wanted to do.  A simple road trip gave me that feeling!

I have a couple friend who were together for 5 years after their graduation.  Maybe for a couple of years of high school as well.  I got a first hand experience of what it would've been like to live with my HS.  When I moved to Alberta, I initially lived with this couple.  I could only stand it for a few months!
This HS couple  were constantly fighting. They never seemed to get a long.  She threatened him daily by telling him she was leaving him. He would co-dependently through some sort of guilt at her to drag her back down into the mess of their relationship.

They had moved away from family and lived together, basically all alone.  She had no support to leave him, therefore she stayed with him.  Not for love, but for a more confusing sense of love called GUILT.

They have since moved back to Ontario, back to family.  This finally surrounded her with the emotional support to leave him.  I'm very proud of her for leaving him, as he was extremely emotionally abusive, and physically threatening  all the time.  It did go back and forth: he would say something intense, then she would get defensive and get just as abusive.


She is so much happier now, without him. If she had only ended it earlier, she would have saved herself from months and months of agony, fear and emotional damage.  She has held herself together, and seems so much happier now.  She left him 5 months ago, and I'm sure it wasn't easy, but friends and family who are there for support definitely help!  Congrats, you know who you are! Keep on LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

I have strong feelings because I’ve been in a HS relationship that was sick and sat in the front row for another horrible one.  I now know if you're not happy in your relationship, get out!   Living the rest of your life unhappy is tragic.  You alone have the power to change it.  It will seem hard to do, impossible even. But you have to remember you are strong, and you can walk away, seek your friends and family who will help with the emotional/mental support, be open with them, don't be scared.  I'm sure you have heard the old line, "face your fears."  You may think that comfortable and familiar is the best, because it is easiest and safe.  Being unhappy is far from easy.  Choosing this kind of comfort guarantees a life filled with feelings of contempt, nervousness, stress, and fear.  Your body becomes accustomed to the feeling of being trapped and stressed. You eventually can even forget what happiness even feels like. You might tell people you are happy and even tell yourself that, but in tears, while there is yelling, and while you dream of another very different life - you know you aren't happy at all.

Take a step back and look at where you are in life, and where you want to be in life.  Everything takes time, and building up the courage to walk away is extremely hard, but it is needed.  People who live with unhappy relationships, and continue to live with them, are building a house on a foundation made of paper.  Over time, like the weather, the unhappiness will beat on the this foundation, and cause it to wither and disintegrate.  Once it does, it will fall apart, causing everything built on it to fall apart, in a very messy way.  Look into the future. Do you want kids, do you want a nice house on a farm, or perhaps a victorian style home in a the heart of a major city, a family of 18, or just a family, with all your friends.  Imagine where you want to be 10 years from now, now imagine  your current spouse in that scenario along with the hatred of divorce/splitting up.  Having to worry about child support, leaving your dream home, or staying in it with memories you hate.  YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!  If you get out early you will have a better chance of being happy in life.  Relationships that end down the road including kids, makes things so much harder, and most of the abused, are extremely happy they have moved on.  They also seem to regret not leaving sooner.

In hindsight, I'm happy what I've done.  I am very proud of people who have been able to move on.  My heart goes out to those who are stuck in this type of relationship, and feel stuck.  Please take my advice, I promise you, you will be happier.  You may be scared, you may feel as though leaving the person you are with, will leave you alone for all of eternity.  THIS IS NOT THE CASE.  Honestly, being alone is much better than being with someone who makes you unhappy.  There are so many people full of love who will treat you a million times better, and likely spoil you the way you want/deserve to be spoiled.  And finding them at 20 is far easier than finding them at 40 or 50. Live your life to the fullest, and share your happiness with all.  Find the people who will support you, then JUST DO IT!

SHARE YOUR <3 WITH THOSE WHO DESERVE IT.  Remember, you control that, NO ONE ELSE!

I encourage all who read this to share their experiences, as this, I'm sure can help people grow their confidence, and move on with their life.

Life Update

WARNING: This isn't a well thought out blog post and just a basic person life update.

Well have come to another fork in the road. I will be on a 46 hours journey from Southern, Ontario to Alberta. It is great as I have a job lined up there driving a tow truck for CAA. I'm very excited as I loved this job before and came back to Ontario for family reason but am tired of waiting for a conclusion, so screw it off i go.

This fork is separating my amazing girlfriend and I as she will be staying in Ontario for the present time, and hopefully moving out to Alberta with me come the end of September after her sisters wedding. The feelings for this girl are very strong, and I'm very excited to continue my life with her. This makes it very hard to persue the opportunity I have, and sometimes have second thoughts, and think about staying. This is not an option, I must remind myself of this, and as great of feelings I have for her we will keep in touch everyday and continue our relationship long distance. If things continue to work and she moves out to Alberta that would be AMAZING.

Just an update on life really, but keep an eye on my twitter for the travel news and things.

Positive Recession Business

I'm sure there are many more out there, but one that I find more and more interesting is Towing and Repossession.

In a recession many people are losing there jobs, and it seems that the best job to have in these times is one that benefits on people's misfortunes. What better job to have then someone who deals directly with consumer who have problems with the second biggest purchase they make in their lives. Whether they can't make their payments or they are having problems with the vehicles and need to get them fixed.

Dealing with repossessions and/or towing is a great place. In this recession I see if going no other direction then up. A membership based service will seem stranger based on membership purchases. You can see here that more used cars are purchased than new cars, which means, more cars will be needed to get towed. And a membership is a reassurance that you could save money with the tow if something else happens.

I'm glad I made the decision to head back out west for this industry, but living in this crappy little town helped me with that decision. Too much small town crap... To all who are deciding on making a relocation/career change, weigh the options in the industry.

New twitter account has been setup for the work I will be doing out west, after April 15th be sure to check up on it. Twitter - Tow Truck Driver

Update Time

Been a while again, so many things going on in life. I'm starting a change in my lifestyle with excersize and nutrition. I'm relocating back to Alberta to get back into the Roadside Service and Towing Industry again. The way the market is going it seems to be the best choice.

I have learned lots in the past little while and am running with it. My awesome girlfriend may be following me to Alberta in early fall when she has completed her post secondary. Very exciting for the both of us.

Also a sideline business idea I will be pursuing once I get to Alberta. This isn't a very big blog post, but I will try to stick with it more, and keep everyone updated with life, and pass on information about as much as I can...

I want to keep this short as, I don't want pages to one blog post, something that just shouldn't be, as pointed out by my cousin.

Anyways, short and sweet, and I will try to keep everyone updated. Love you all, YEEHAW!

Monthiversary

Well even though the title really doesn't have much to do with the post, it is part of it. The person who brought up the Monthiversary, she is awesome, in every way, and I don't understand why more people can't be like her.

In my day today, which technically it is still the 3rd for me, the Monthiversary (being something small of my day) has been the best part of my day. I am waiting for a call from a trucking company to say, "LET'S GO," as I can't stand being in Grey Bruce anymore. The things, and people, here drive me nuts. I can pretty well count on my fingers the amount of people I actually like talking to here, how pathetic is that. Being my home town you would expect more then that. Myself, being one of those people who was described as being, "Friends with everybody," hates this place and can't wait to leave.

Sure I moved back here from Alberta, due to legal/family reasons, but am regretting almost every minute of it. Accept for getting the chance to have coffee with an awesome woman.

Waiting for the call from the trucking company irritates me every minute they don't call. Even though my brother is working on setting me up to work for the same retarded company he works for doing snow removal. They basically want me to say I'll work for them until the snow is gone, whether or not the trucking company calls. YEEHAW, well he's my option, do I fuck my brother over, by pissing off the company he's with (quitting the day the trucking company calls). Or, option 2, sit and wait for the company to call and turn down this other job, or ask the trucking company wait until winter is over (snow stops falling). There's my quandary of the day. Hmmmm, or maybe, life would just fall into place for me, where I could be happy, working 40 hours a week, be home every night, and have a very manageable income. NOOOO, that would be too easy, and i guess and easy life would be boring.

I guess this is kinda making me sound like a loser, but whatever. This is me, and that's how I am, even though I can get along with almost anyone.

There you go, my rant for the day, sorry this wasn't the best post but it had to all be let out, anyone have any ideas on where to lead this wonderful life of mine? I'm hoping more on the trucking company, sure it's not 40 hours a week home every night, but it gets me out of this hell hole, and making decent income.

Then of course, it'll be harder to see this woman, but will it be worth it? I mean she is awesome and is game for it, and now is the time to do it not having family and all... I can't see myself being a long haul trucker for a long period in my life, but definitely something I'd like to get experience in, now that I have my license for it. This brings me to the blog post Complicated Life. Everyone has their problems and decisions to make in their life, but after my parents reading the above blog post, they also make point that they are stuck in the same kind of predicament, and the options never change through life...

To finish this off, all I must say is, WHATEVER, lol... I guess I'll figure it out as life goes on, I will however stand by the statement I have learned to love. "Live life to it's fullest, if there's something in your life you don't like, or stresses you out, CHANGE IT!" I am working on it, but it will take some time. Cheers to all