Huber's Blog

The High School Sweetheart Syndrome

2010-12-05T21:01:00.002-05:00

This may not what you expect at first. But I can be a surprising guy..

Marrying/Living with your 'highschool sweetheart' has always bothered me. I know for sure that if I had done this I would be unhappy with my life.I would be filled with regret and longing.

I have observed couples who married very young. They end up trapped by the familiarity and comfort. And too afraid to act upon their agonizing emptiness and wondering what if...

Don't get me wrong here! If you are in a HS (High school Sweetheart) relationship and you are loving it then I’m not talking about you.

My high school relationship started in the second half of my grade nine year. I was 14.

This relationship lasted lasted up until the last day of high school. Four Long Years. Long.

I felt happy in the first year. But quickly it grew to be a very controlling, trustless and painful relationship. I eventually had to talk to my HS girlfriend constantly. Late in the evening when I went to bed I had to talk to her on the phone so 'we' could go to bed at the same time. It was nauseating.

She was a few years younger than me so she wasn't allowed out as late as I was once I got my freedom from being able to drive. Her 'controlling' behaviour turned me into an automaton. Like Pavlov’s dogs I knew that once I called her to say 'goodnight,' I could then go out and finally have fun with my real friends. She was happy knowing I was behaving and I was happy pretending to do what she demanded I do. I became uncomfortable having her around my friends because of the chance of her finding out I wasn't going to bed when I said goodnight to her. Our dependence upon each other grew this way. My life was shaped around her demands and my performances for her. And, in her mind, she was comforted knowing we would ALWAYS be together. Even though when we were together we both felt completely alone.

As unhealthy as this was I am grateful for the experience. I learned more from this relationship then I did from my lame Computer Science class.

How did I find the strength to break the codependent spell and walk away?

One thing: COLLEGE.

She told me repeatedly I could not leave town without her. These were her orders. It was habit to agree with her, and be there for her, despite most of her orders conflicting with what I needed and wanted. But once I visited my college campus and tasted the freedom of a town and life without her it became apparent how unhealthy our relationship was.

I knew, finally that it had to end.

I was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life up to that point.

Dozens of times I had tried to break up with her because I hated the feeling of being so silenced and controlled. I was a teenager! I just wanted to go and have fun! But I was living the life of an elderly long-married unhappy man or a baby. The fun I'm talking about was simply, hanging out with my friends, and not having to call anyone to tell them I was going to sleep.

Each time I had tried to end it, I was told many things. She manipulated me with made up problems from, 'I'm pregnant!', to 'I can't live without you, and don't worry about me because I won't be on this planet anymore!'. Her suicidal gestures felt genuine because she was a cutter - she would make herself bleed when she was stressed out!

If felt more comfortable to stay with her than to face her threats and emotional abuses. This comfort and fear was what I mistook, back then as a High school Sweetheart, for love.

To end it, I had to rely on the phone, because I could not handle the face to face. If I tried to end it face to face I would have fallen apart and been unable to end it.
So I called, and said,
'It's over, i can't handle this anymore, goodbye.' And hung up, turned off my phone.
It was great timing because a friend stopped by and asked if I wanted to help another friend move some stuff to a town about 3 hours away. I felt free, I didn't have to call anyone, I could just go, and DO what I wanted to do. A simple road trip gave me that feeling!

I have a couple friend who were together for 5 years after their graduation. Maybe for a couple of years of high school as well. I got a first hand experience of what it would've been like to live with my HS. When I moved to Alberta, I initially lived with this couple. I could only stand it for a few months!
This HS couple were constantly fighting. They never seemed to get a long. She threatened him daily by telling him she was leaving him. He would co-dependently through some sort of guilt at her to drag her back down into the mess of their relationship.

They had moved away from family and lived together, basically all alone. She had no support to leave him, therefore she stayed with him. Not for love, but for a more confusing sense of love called GUILT.

They have since moved back to Ontario, back to family. This finally surrounded her with the emotional support to leave him. I'm very proud of her for leaving him, as he was extremely emotionally abusive, and physically threatening all the time. It did go back and forth: he would say something intense, then she would get defensive and get just as abusive.

She is so much happier now, without him. If she had only ended it earlier, she would have saved herself from months and months of agony, fear and emotional damage. She has held herself together, and seems so much happier now. She left him 5 months ago, and I'm sure it wasn't easy, but friends and family who are there for support definitely help! Congrats, you know who you are! Keep on LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST!

I have strong feelings because I’ve been in a HS relationship that was sick and sat in the front row for another horrible one. I now know if you're not happy in your relationship, get out! Living the rest of your life unhappy is tragic. You alone have the power to change it. It will seem hard to do, impossible even. But you have to remember you are strong, and you can walk away, seek your friends and family who will help with the emotional/mental support, be open with them, don't be scared. I'm sure you have heard the old line, "face your fears." You may think that comfortable and familiar is the best, because it is easiest and safe. Being unhappy is far from easy. Choosing this kind of comfort guarantees a life filled with feelings of contempt, nervousness, stress, and fear. Your body becomes accustomed to the feeling of being trapped and stressed. You eventually can even forget what happiness even feels like. You might tell people you are happy and even tell yourself that, but in tears, while there is yelling, and while you dream of another very different life - you know you aren't happy at all.

Take a step back and look at where you are in life, and where you want to be in life. Everything takes time, and building up the courage to walk away is extremely hard, but it is needed. People who live with unhappy relationships, and continue to live with them, are building a house on a foundation made of paper. Over time, like the weather, the unhappiness will beat on the this foundation, and cause it to wither and disintegrate. Once it does, it will fall apart, causing everything built on it to fall apart, in a very messy way. Look into the future. Do you want kids, do you want a nice house on a farm, or perhaps a victorian style home in a the heart of a major city, a family of 18, or just a family, with all your friends. Imagine where you want to be 10 years from now, now imagine your current spouse in that scenario along with the hatred of divorce/splitting up. Having to worry about child support, leaving your dream home, or staying in it with memories you hate. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! If you get out early you will have a better chance of being happy in life. Relationships that end down the road including kids, makes things so much harder, and most of the abused, are extremely happy they have moved on. They also seem to regret not leaving sooner.

In hindsight, I'm happy what I've done. I am very proud of people who have been able to move on. My heart goes out to those who are stuck in this type of relationship, and feel stuck. Please take my advice, I promise you, you will be happier. You may be scared, you may feel as though leaving the person you are with, will leave you alone for all of eternity. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Honestly, being alone is much better than being with someone who makes you unhappy. There are so many people full of love who will treat you a million times better, and likely spoil you the way you want/deserve to be spoiled. And finding them at 20 is far easier than finding them at 40 or 50. Live your life to the fullest, and share your happiness with all. Find the people who will support you, then JUST DO IT!

SHARE YOUR <3 WITH THOSE WHO DESERVE IT. Remember, you control that, NO ONE ELSE!

I encourage all who read this to share their experiences, as this, I'm sure can help people grow their confidence, and move on with their life.

Life Update

2009-04-09T17:14:00.005-04:00

WARNING: This isn't a well thought out blog post and just a basic person life update.

Well have come to another fork in the road. I will be on a 46 hours journey from Southern, Ontario to Alberta. It is great as I have a job lined up there driving a tow truck for CAA. I'm very excited as I loved this job before and came back to Ontario for family reason but am tired of waiting for a conclusion, so screw it off i go.

This fork is separating my amazing girlfriend and I as she will be staying in Ontario for the present time, and hopefully moving out to Alberta with me come the end of September after her sisters wedding. The feelings for this girl are very strong, and I'm very excited to continue my life with her. This makes it very hard to persue the opportunity I have, and sometimes have second thoughts, and think about staying. This is not an option, I must remind myself of this, and as great of feelings I have for her we will keep in touch everyday and continue our relationship long distance. If things continue to work and she moves out to Alberta that would be AMAZING.

Just an update on life really, but keep an eye on my twitter for the travel news and things.

Positive Recession Business

2009-03-20T14:29:00.003-04:00

I'm sure there are many more out there, but one that I find more and more interesting is Towing and Repossession.

In a recession many people are losing there jobs, and it seems that the best job to have in these times is one that benefits on people's misfortunes. What better job to have then someone who deals directly with consumer who have problems with the second biggest purchase they make in their lives. Whether they can't make their payments or they are having problems with the vehicles and need to get them fixed.

Dealing with repossessions and/or towing is a great place. In this recession I see if going no other direction then up. A membership based service will seem stranger based on membership purchases. You can see here that more used cars are purchased than new cars, which means, more cars will be needed to get towed. And a membership is a reassurance that you could save money with the tow if something else happens.

I'm glad I made the decision to head back out west for this industry, but living in this crappy little town helped me with that decision. Too much small town crap... To all who are deciding on making a relocation/career change, weigh the options in the industry.

New twitter account has been setup for the work I will be doing out west, after April 15th be sure to check up on it. Twitter - Tow Truck Driver

Update Time

2009-03-20T14:23:00.003-04:00

Been a while again, so many things going on in life. I'm starting a change in my lifestyle with excersize and nutrition. I'm relocating back to Alberta to get back into the Roadside Service and Towing Industry again. The way the market is going it seems to be the best choice.

I have learned lots in the past little while and am running with it. My awesome girlfriend may be following me to Alberta in early fall when she has completed her post secondary. Very exciting for the both of us.

Also a sideline business idea I will be pursuing once I get to Alberta. This isn't a very big blog post, but I will try to stick with it more, and keep everyone updated with life, and pass on information about as much as I can...

I want to keep this short as, I don't want pages to one blog post, something that just shouldn't be, as pointed out by my cousin.

Anyways, short and sweet, and I will try to keep everyone updated. Love you all, YEEHAW!

Monthiversary

2009-02-04T05:14:00.002-05:00

Well even though the title really doesn't have much to do with the post, it is part of it. The person who brought up the Monthiversary, she is awesome, in every way, and I don't understand why more people can't be like her.

In my day today, which technically it is still the 3rd for me, the Monthiversary (being something small of my day) has been the best part of my day. I am waiting for a call from a trucking company to say, "LET'S GO," as I can't stand being in Grey Bruce anymore. The things, and people, here drive me nuts. I can pretty well count on my fingers the amount of people I actually like talking to here, how pathetic is that. Being my home town you would expect more then that. Myself, being one of those people who was described as being, "Friends with everybody," hates this place and can't wait to leave.

Sure I moved back here from Alberta, due to legal/family reasons, but am regretting almost every minute of it. Accept for getting the chance to have coffee with an awesome woman.

Waiting for the call from the trucking company irritates me every minute they don't call. Even though my brother is working on setting me up to work for the same retarded company he works for doing snow removal. They basically want me to say I'll work for them until the snow is gone, whether or not the trucking company calls. YEEHAW, well he's my option, do I fuck my brother over, by pissing off the company he's with (quitting the day the trucking company calls). Or, option 2, sit and wait for the company to call and turn down this other job, or ask the trucking company wait until winter is over (snow stops falling). There's my quandary of the day. Hmmmm, or maybe, life would just fall into place for me, where I could be happy, working 40 hours a week, be home every night, and have a very manageable income. NOOOO, that would be too easy, and i guess and easy life would be boring.

I guess this is kinda making me sound like a loser, but whatever. This is me, and that's how I am, even though I can get along with almost anyone.

There you go, my rant for the day, sorry this wasn't the best post but it had to all be let out, anyone have any ideas on where to lead this wonderful life of mine? I'm hoping more on the trucking company, sure it's not 40 hours a week home every night, but it gets me out of this hell hole, and making decent income.

Then of course, it'll be harder to see this woman, but will it be worth it? I mean she is awesome and is game for it, and now is the time to do it not having family and all... I can't see myself being a long haul trucker for a long period in my life, but definitely something I'd like to get experience in, now that I have my license for it. This brings me to the blog post Complicated Life. Everyone has their problems and decisions to make in their life, but after my parents reading the above blog post, they also make point that they are stuck in the same kind of predicament, and the options never change through life...

To finish this off, all I must say is, WHATEVER, lol... I guess I'll figure it out as life goes on, I will however stand by the statement I have learned to love. "Live life to it's fullest, if there's something in your life you don't like, or stresses you out, CHANGE IT!" I am working on it, but it will take some time. Cheers to all

Careers?

2009-01-22T12:57:00.002-05:00

There is one thing I remember from a high school course, Career Studies. This thing is "Your career, is not a job, your career is your life." I really like this saying because it reminds people that, you can have more than one job as a 'career' because no matter what you do life will continue on. Just find something you like and continue with it, if you don't like it, change it, find something else...

I'm basing this on the job opportunities that have been offered to me out west. Recently I have received my AZ/Class 1 license and of course this helps for work but there are more options than even really conceived me.

I can go back to tow trucking out west if I like to where i was before. Or maybe start my own business towing and try to get some contracts in some smaller towns? But what guarantees the pay, nothing, that's why it's your own business. However, I could also go start and apprenticeship for boom truck operator and put my class 1 to use. Could be moving oil field equipment with a 45 tonne boom truck, and a tandem steer tri-axle rig. Way bigger than I've ever driven, but maybe that could be good too? Maybe i should go get my boom truck license work for a year, then maybe start my own business when I can be 25 and have cheaper insurance... HMMM...

Life is very confusing, and there are so many options... I could go to school and become a cop, lawyer, vet, w/e, there are lots of options, but at least I'm starting to narrow them down. Moral of the story is, find something you love to do, and do it... If it changes, then change it. What do I do? I think the only response I know for sure, is to get OUT of Ontario...

Not A typical Post

2008-12-04T03:51:00.004-05:00

Alright, well this isn't a typical post, however i got a picture today and I needed to do a little blurb on it...

Pictures are worth 1000 words, and well this one even comes with a subject line. Child labour present in Canada? The words spell it for you. We must stand against it. Where are the infants, how can I return it to the infants, where are they hiding!?

Saw the labeled ladder at my local Wal-Mart (which is now open 24 hours, it's insane in this small town, another story, lol) noticing that there's no way it could've been written by infants them self. They must have a leader ;)...

Anyways, thought I'd share that with ya'll... Peace

Life, as you know it...

2008-11-27T12:09:00.002-05:00

As I have now encountered a moment in life that my cousin has recently gone through, and made a post on how to get through it. I figured I would do a reply blog with my own additives with my views on the situation.

Cousin's Post

Alright, so we all are aware as I write this blog post I am doing the steps to make sure I get my facts straight and can get my views on them.

After a breakup, yes my relationship wasn't near as long as my cousin's, however, it was still something that made a effect on my life. It was good, and she is a great girl, but I have too much crap going on in my life, as does she. Therefore, at this point in our lives, this relationship just isn't going to work.

Step 1: Facebook

I have seem to be one of those people who have fallen into the depths of the 'relationship status.' Even though i didn't select the person in which i was a couple with. I still have it selected, now the way to remove it that i will try, is to choose just not to show relationship status. Hopefully this will not lead to a million people asking all the retarded questions...... Shit well, i tried to remove it, and well, it got removed but still posted in the news feed, Matt is no longer listed as in a relationship. Let's hope it doesn't get stupid from here. Although, i guess, facebook, as a social network, is just doing it's job.

Step 2: Buy a New Computer

Well, that's out of the question. I've only had my Mac for approximately 3 months. No way i'm getting a new one already, however, because it is so new, it is simple to remove the things in the system that remind me of the previous.

We're still gonna try the, still being friends thing, which I really hope works out, as she is a great person, just not in the right place in our lives.

Step 3: Stop following on twitter

These are getting easier, she's NOT on twitter, maybe that is another reason for us not working out, nah, well...?

Steps: 4 through 6

Again, nothing for me to do. However, the other thing in which the cousin did not touch upon as it doesn't affect her situation, is, being in a small town with tat individual. There's only 1 bar, 1 walmart, population of 22,000ppl. That really isn't a big amount, as I will likely run into her multiple times. Hoping the friend thing works the small city won't be an ordeal. However, if the friend thing isn't going to work for your situation, MOVE.

Step 7: Move (if applicable)

Get the hell out of the small town. Chances are you've been in that area most of your life and you need to get out anyways. I was in Alberta, and came back to shitty grey bruce for family reasons. I would love to go back out there, but am planning for April.

Step 8: Buy a new vehicle

Had to add this to make up for the computer. This is more of an inside joke that advice, however it isn't a bad thought, I am headed to the auction this weekend to do that very thing, maybe find a snow plow to keep my mind off of the past, and will keep me busy. Wow, that is advice. HAHAHA

Life as you know it, is NOT over, it is just starting a new chapter that you have to grab by the horns and take charge with. As you are an insignificant little speck in this spectrum of the universe, the thing to remember from that statement is, YOU ARE!

Modern Day Sweat Shop

2008-10-11T13:20:00.002-04:00

I have recently acquired a new job in which I hate... I am working at a call center that does internet tech support for a full service cable, internet, tv company out of the US. This place is well, what myself and my trainer have recently decided is a modern day sweat shop.

Over the coarse of a 5-15 minute phone call I have to operate 14 pieces of software. Not only are half of them useless they are just repetitive. I have to not only take their name, address, phone number, I must put that information into at least three of teh fourteen different pieces of software while helping the customer with their problem.

Ninety percent of the time the customers problem is not on their end, it's normally something to do with our system or the equipment they rent from us (modem). After I input all their information I have to wait for the system to run a diagnostic on their connection and then read through the encrypted test results to try and understand what it all means. Once we have done that we troubleshoot whether it's because of us or something they have. Like i said, most of the time it's a problem with our equipment. Now I have to use other pieces of software to fix the problem which can take anywhere from 5 - 30 minutes because the systems are too slow. Then of course once we are done fixing the problem we have to thank them for using our company, even though i don't normally mean it, I mean, if the problem was with us, now the customer has waited so long to get through to myself, then had to wait on the phone while the problem gets fixed. And if i can't fix their problem I have to send a technician out, which I have rarely been able to book same day, most of the time it's nearly a month away before the technician can get there.

While I'm still on the phone i have to complete every piece of software I have open before the customer hangs up, because as soon as the call ends, i get another call right away and if I don't have everything completed now I have to have the next customer wait as I finish everything up for the previous one.

Now of course, since we are running system built in 2001 (as says the sticker on the back of the machines) everything is slow and lots of times fails. This place is so retarded that we are supposed to keep taking phone calls even if we can't get a computer or the computer crashes. We will get in shit for 'work avoidance' if we don't take phone calls. I had to ask, "WTF am i supposed to help them with if i don't have a system!?" The stupid sweat shops response was, "Just be polite try to help them as much as you can, and if you can't, tell they our systems are down and to call back in approx 30 minutes." This is RETARDED. So now, not only am i lying to the customer, KARMA, I'm sure, will come into affect if I continue to lie to them. I brought this up to one of the higher ups and he said, "honestly, we don't pay you enough to care, just do what your told." WTF!?!?!?!?! Sure he makes a valid point, but they also gave me shit for not sounding empathetic on the phone, I'M NOT PAID ENOUGH TO CARE!

Now that our 2001 systems are unreliable we constantly need help from the 'team leads' and they are normally too busy? Well now that our systems don't work, don't worry, the hawks eye system does. If your 15 minute break last for 15 minutes and 30 seconds they will be there questioning you about it. Not only are they anal about break times, but they have standards for call times and hold times. If you have a customer on hold for more than a minute you will be penalized. While our systems continue to crash they still watch us like a hawk and expect everything to run smoothly!

Everything is so tedious and stupid, in my opinion, the place is a modern day sweat shop. All of these things must be done, and you are going non stop, all for MINIMUM WAGE. Just my thoughts on under managed call centers. This is the second call center i have had experience in, and this one is horrible, I'm sure there are worse ones, but really who wants to go into work everyday to a place like this, no wonder their turn around is so high. There are so many smalls thing they could do even just to bring up moral, but nope, they're too concentrated on running people dry and wearing them out!

Electric Cars

2008-09-11T09:19:00.003-04:00

I will admit that there are lots of auto makers in which I will not buy, and I will not support my friends to purchase. One of which being a Honda, sure they are decent cars, the older civics and accords are the equivalents to today's Cobalts, they are just throw away cars, and really not good for anything accept for uncomfortable cheap commuting. Honda has recently announced that they will not be any electric cars for the time being. Seems to me that they are being the only smart Japanese auto maker that sells in North America. CNET - Honda News

This electric car thing has bothered me for sometime now, and this article finally answered some of my questions and concerns. They have basically proved to me that right now, the way to go for cheap commuting would still be a hybrid, which is a gas over electric. Where pure electric energy in which you have to charge, they say, you will still only get approximately 60 miles out of a full charge. The only goof that would be is for running errands around town. I don't believe that would be any good for myself, considering, it's approximately 20km to city limits at highway speed. I can' see myself relying on a vehicle like that, especially to e producing heat in the winter.

I can't see owning or even think about owning a electric car, until laptop computers have made it. I mean, Lithium-ion batteries, are awesome. BUT, the answer to portability is being able to take it wherever, whenever, and expecting it to work. Well looking at batteries that way, cars and computers are in the same category. If my laptop won't keep me using my full range of portability for more than 4 hours, how can i expect a car to do the same/better. Sure when you compare the size of batteries, the car's is much larger and should last longer. Then you must think about the amount of 'juice' is required for the car. You have many lights, including bright, energy draining, headlights, plus all your electronics to keep you moving and safe, as well as a heater to keep you warm, or an air conditioner. Well sure an electric car would be great, but do you want to pay that hydro bill for filling it up? I think not, people complain about the high cost of hydro when they run an air conditioner to keep the house cool. Well imagine filling a battery big enough to run all that for a few hours. NO THANKS

Where if you run a Hybrid Toyota Camry your only burning approximately 5litres per 100km. Which for you Americans, works out to be approximately 40mpg. Where, well, our electric car will be god knows how much, won't be reliable, as in, if you run low on energy you can't go and just put $20 in the tank. Also who says that the emissions will be less with a electric vehicle versus a hybrid. I believe there only backup for that is they have no way of recording or keeping track of how much emissions are put out to get the amount of energy to fill the battery.

All in all, until I can have use my laptop for full reliable portability, then I won't trust a electric car. But I guess the quick point to be made by this post is, I still won't buy a Honda but surprisingly they seem to be the only ones who are being smart about this electric car business.

Life

2008-09-03T03:13:00.004-04:00

As I lie on the grass staring at the stars, I begin to think and wonder, as many have before. What does this world have in store for me, what is expected of me, and many look for a sign or thought that will help them on my journey's. I did the same old, there's the big dipper, there's Orion's belt, there's the north star, as many of us, I'm sure, have learnt in our childhood. Why weren't we ever told, life is just a life.

Put yourself in perspective of the stars, you are nothing, a minuscule little being that is really gonna have no affect on life, life in general. The only thing you will affect in life are the people in which you encounter along your journey. You are a small, little, dispensable, wasteful, piece of energy that could one day... DIE. Not trying to be in the negative sense, just trying to bring the understanding of life.

You begin your life, you live your life, then you die. Therefore really having no affect on the universe what so ever. Therefore, the only affect you will have in life, is on other minuscule pieces of energy, in which, can only do the same for you. Sure we have evolved a lot, and put forth lots of effort into making life more enjoyable, but how many people out there don't enjoy their lives. Some people are homeless, and some people are extremely wealthy. You think that if we didn't have the evolution and technology, or think of, even if we didn't have text, or words, would there still be so many unhappy people in this world. The only reason people live unhappy lives is the affect other people are having on them. Whether or not it's direct correlation, the affects one is having on another controls the way they will live their lives.

I believe that living your 'enjoyable' life requires infinite amounts of happiness. The only way to come to happiness is not by pleasing other people, not trying to act the way someone expects you to act. Honestly, if someone doesn't like who I am, fuck them, I don't need any of their negative affects on my life. Think about how many people there are on earth. Your not gonna affect a percentage of them. In a way you could, but you will never connect, therefore ever get the satisfaction of affecting their lives in a positive way.

Life, in itself is simply YOU, you need to live your life the way you want to. Money will cloud everything you will ever want to do in life. Think about it though, you are an organism that will grow, learn, and roam until it's your time to die. I lie in bed at night, trying to fall asleep, and have come up with this way to relieve stress, and as a reminder, bring you back to reality that you are an organism. I close my eyes, and look out into the world. No, not a 'mental fuck' just close your eyes, imagine your in a GIGANTIC black room. A room bigger than you can ever imagine, now how small do you feel? Really small, you feel so small, you feel pretty well insignificant. Well, that's what you pretty well are. Your life only matters to you, the people you affect, so all you can do is make it how you can, and live life to the end, as successful as you can be, however you define success, it only matters to you.

My cousin linked to my blog in her blog the other day. She then told me that she receives around 1000 hits a day. In all reality, that's not very many people, considering how many people are online, at any given point in time. However, my cousin is just an organism like everyone else, a very smart one at that. Not only does she get 1000 hits a day, she is affecting approximately 1000 different people a day. Whether or not it's positive, it's their choice to read it, and connect with it. They are looking to her for interest, for knowledge, for whatever she has written about recently. In my eyes, she is being successful, not knowing how much money she's making doing it, it doesn't matter. She is doing what she likes to do, and is affecting 1000's of lives with it. She may not change the world, but she is a part of how people are living their lives.

I have been faced with many dilemmas in life, and will continue to, as many others do, it's inevitable. However, just remember you are you, and only you, do what you feel will make your definition define you as successful. I am going to do my best from here on in, looking up at the stars has brought me to a realization!

Cheer's to my cousin, Chantelle, and cheer's to anyone and everyone who is living a happy, successful life, and helping others along the way.

Drunk Driving

2008-09-01T13:02:00.005-04:00

People who drink and drive are idiots. I don't mean the people that go out with friends, have a beer or two and then drive home. That's not a concern of mine, it's the people who can barely walk straight let along keep control of a vehicle.

I remember a few times where I had been fairly inebriated and a passenger in a vehicle with a sober driver, anyways, doing 80km/h down the road, I don't even understand what's going on, let along how to respond to it. People on the road like this, scares me. An awesome example of how much damage a drunk driver can cause, I lead you to this link.

http://s6.photobucket.com/albums/y224/devile/Clgry%20Wreck/

Simple story, at 1 am my friend woke up to a god awful noise. Got up, got dressed ran downstairs to a mess of vehicles and a pile of flashing lights on his street. A drunk driver had hit, his yellow car, then he room mates grey truck, then his roommates blue truck, which was slammed into their neighbours truck. Upon collision the drunk driver's truck had rolled and slammed into the curb, ejecting him out of his windshield. He was on his feet before the police showed up but then taken into custody. If you refer to the link you will see the damage caused by the dumb ass.

Drunk driver's need to be taken out, and have their license removed and an eye kept on their property making sure they aren't still driving a vehicle around. I find that even worse, because not they are unlicensed, and not insured, and again possibly drunk. NOT GOOD AT ALL. Better yet, get some vigilante's to deal with them... YEEHAW, seems like vigilante's is the only answer to just bout everything...

Violence In Small Towns

2008-09-01T12:54:00.002-04:00

This past friday night, a few of my friends were headed to the bar. They parked their car in a big empty parking lot behind a bank, which is close to the bar. They were starting to walk towards the bar when one of my friends was punched in the back of the head. WTF sy the other two as they also get hit. I'm not sure what else happened as I didn't see it. But from what I know, one of them (my friends) had to get about 5 stiches in his lip, and the other two were also taken to hospital to get checked out.

Of course a police report was made, however, these friends of mine said that they have never seen these guys before.

Alrighty in a town with a population of approximately 23,000 people, you would think that viloence wouldn't be a huge problem. Well in the past month, a black man had been stabbed by a bunch of teenage white gangbangers. The scary thing to add to this is, the stabbing happened within two blocks of my friends getting beaten. The police, well they do their best, but, a small town all of this should be easy, but it's not, I guess.

The one friend who was jumped, was visiting from calgary, a 'BIG BAD CITY,' he comes here, and well, you get the point. What is the world coming to, who knows... I think we need more vigilante's out in this town. ~I will raise my hand, and volunteer my services, as long as there's some sort of guarantee~

This never used to be a city that anyone should be scared of going out at dark, atleast i never have. All of a sudden in the past month it seems you can't go out at night. First it seemed like 'black' people weren't allowed out at night, now it's anyone. Kind of interested to see what happens here over the rest of the year...

Life, the wonders...

2008-09-01T02:33:00.003-04:00

Life in general is great, if you can live it to it's fullest. How do you live it to your fullest, well, I'm trying to figure that out. In my opinion, being able to live life to it's fullest, you must be successful. Ya, ya, ya... Successful = career, I went to high school too, and I know the things that were planted into our brains. Sure everyone needs a career, but define career. Let's take a second to look at the definition...

Career: a profession for which one trains and which is undertaken as a permanent calling
-Webster's Dictionary

OK, so that definition, basically, DEFINES LIFE. So yes, your good at something, and you pursue this thing, then get good at it, and make money/living with it. Well, I think that life should be filled with being good at a little bit of everything. Think about it, when you go to your high school reunion, which of the following would you feel better saying; a. I know a little about a lot. OR b. I know a lot about a little.

OPTION A should be the answer. Could you imagine yourself having your fingers dipped in a little bit of everything, bringing in money from all over, being friends with everyone, and the one's you don't get along with, you don't talk to, although they still pay you for your services in one way or another.

I WANT THAT. This was my rant about life, and i believe that you should be able to start this life at an early age, maybe just out of high school. If you can, than how, NO ONE takes you seriously. I am making it my current goal to find out, who will take someone at a young age who will take me seriously and get this ball rolling. Sure, i need a "career" to get me going, cover my bills and such, but once the ball gets rolling, HANG ON. I want the WORLD, but I guess you must start somewhere. Peace.

Towing & Iced Tea, and DAMN THE GOVERNMENT!

2008-08-19T12:26:00.002-04:00

Alright, Well towing is different all across the board. I went from driving with a fleet owned by a huge auto club, with the newest, most advanced equipment. To a contractor (private company) with old crappy trucks, a few nice new ones, however, i'm not likely to get my hands on one. Although with my training I'm sure it would be a benefit for them to put me in one. I mean, they sent me to be trained with a driver of there that has only been towing for approximately 5 months. Needless to say, we got a call to put the motorcycle on the flat deck. HE HAD NO IDEA HOW TO DO IT. I ended up being the trainee, and the trainer. The only thing i need training on from them mainly is their paperwork. We'll see, this may not last long, as everything is too redneck and you don't have the backing for equipment or truck upkeep that i'm used too. Not sure if I could work without it. Maybe it's time to invest in an AZ license???

AND ICED TEA! Some people just don't understand, Nestea is the only good iced tea on the market. All these other ones through this tang into it, and well it's not cool at all. Nestea is the only one that doesn't have that grose tang in the middle. Just thought i'd through this out, so people will try it, and reply to me. As Lipton and noname as well as many others, have the stupid tang. ERRRRR

The government sucks. In order to get my Ontario License activated, and deactivate my alberta license, of course i need my birth certificate to proove who i am. Well my birth certificate is lost. Even though the guy at the licenseing centre had my ontario license on his screen and all he had to do was one simple little click. BUT, NOOOOOOOOO... ERRRR... so now I have to order a new birth certificate. Oh well, I will wait and see how it goes. Anywas... Over and out for now, will update some more soon...

Ok, It's been awhile.

2008-08-09T23:29:00.002-04:00

Ok well, it's been a little while. I got my new Mac Book Pro, and have been trying to use it. I have always been a PC guy, and my cousin got me into the mac world, and so far, i'm not disappointed at all, i'm sure the more i learn the more I'll like it...

Anyways the main reason for this post is, WTF!? lol... I came across something in the local news today and I must quote it.

~Quote~

No explanation for Kincardine boom
Written by John Divinski

It's been a week-and-a-half since the so-called "big bang" in the Kincardine area and there is no explanation.

Nuclear problem to sonic booms to meteor showers have been discounted.

South Bruce OPP Staff Sergeant Paul Bradley says the most recent yarn--meteor showers--has been discounted by outside sources who have studied them.

Bradley says as far as the police are concerned, there is no further investigation into the matter by them.

Bradley says on Thursday, July 31st, residents over an 18-kilometer area reported large bangs that sounded like explosions.

He says police and fire personnel responded to that emergency and found there was no problem.

Then the conjecture started and continues.

But Bradley says as of this point, still no explanation as to what it was.

No significant damage by the bangs except for a few reported broken windows.

Nobody hurt.

~Quote End~

Quoted From Owen Sound Suntimes of Osprey Media.

The reason for this post is, well, if you read the article above you will see that it says the sound was heard approx 18km around. Well, who knows where it originated so who knows where it originated, or did they ;). Anyways, my family and I remember this 'banging' and well we are approximately 90km away. We live near a tank/firing rang, so that's what we figured it was. But the scary thing is, kincardine, is only about 10km away from a Nuclear Power Plant. So where did it come from? See, even though we are in a small town/area we still have excitement... AHHAHA...

Well, Aside from that, not a whole lot is new here for me. Got the Mac, still waiting on the iTouch, it went from shanghai, to anchorage, to newark, and then to mississauga.. It's taking quite the trip, but I am looking forward too it.

Back to work with CAA on monday, well going for a ride along, we'll see how this goes, different people, different equipment, and wayyyy different system.

POI, I know EVERYONE has been waiting for an update. Well, here it is. We may have a title soon, lol, no more POI possibly. WHY? you ask??? Well, we get along really well, and I'm sure it would make her happier if she had a little more security. So, even though i'm still thinking about it, and will keep everyone up to date..

My winter truck will soon be on the road officially. Had the wrong part in the middle of ripping everything apart. So off to CT to get a new part, and then it starts to DOWN POUR. Packed it up for the day and back at it tomorrow.

Feel free to leave comments, as I will try to keep and eye on local news and start commenting on more news items, that really intrigue me... NIGHT!

Another day, holy the foruth already?

2008-08-04T01:47:00.000-04:00

Hello, hello...

Another day has passed, apparently this is the fourth blog post already, I kinda feel like I know what I'm doing yet. Although I don't have anything quite to interesting yet, I am trying to keep all of your who are reading it up to date. Got my twitter widget going on the side now so you can see what my most recent updates are... Anyways, on to a few things i wanted to explain further from yesterdays post, then I'll get onto today...

Alrighty, yesterdays updates will be short but have the detail... Maybe, god, i hate trying to plan it ahead in my head...

Oh yes, the crazy nice car. It's a 2008 Chevrolet Cobalt SS... I didn't really find them too appealing before, yahoo, it's got a supercharged 2.0l four cylinder. REALLY? lol, i really didn't find that too appealing. Seemed like they were trying to make a decent prices throw away car a 'sports car'. Well I'm assuming the engineers or designers of GM, realized that with a supercharger, it takes power to make power. When all of my friends and I saw that it was supercharged, we basically all said, "WTF!?" Should've wrote them a letter or something, seeing how I am Canadian, and that's what we do, I just ignored it and figured, well GM is just scrap anyways they may as well just continue the trend. (I'll get into the scrap definition later). Anyhow, my muffin and I stopped into a GM dealer when we toured to Barrie to look at the truck, that I now own, but at this time was just to look at it as a prospective purchase. When we got there we saw the car, and something didn't look quite right on the back of it. The badging, twas different, WHAT!?!?!?! IT'S TURBO NOW!!?!?!? See now the concepts between the two, turbo and supercharger are completely different, If you need explanatiions feel free to comment and I will post info on next post. Anywho, when we went get the truck yesterday, well the day before now I guess... So when we went to get the truck on saturday we toured over to the GM dealer to test drive this Cobalt SS TURBO!... The car is comfortable, FAST AS HELL, and was surprising decent for a throw away car. So that was the little story about the Scrap that ain't too bad. HAHAHA, kinda pointless but now you know what I think about the Cobalt SS TURBO.

Story with the truck, quick little story, I hope lol. So we go to get this truck with is about 40km outside of barrie. We get there, and the owner says, all the ownerships and paperwork for the truck is in my dad's van, and he went to brampton. My muffin and I were like, WTF, oh well, we're close to barrie we'll go test drive that SS. We planned to come back the next day to get the truck, being sunday. We get to the dealer, and are just walking in the door, when buddy with the truck calls. OH, I just found the paperwork, he says. SWEET, then i was able to get my truck that day. HAHAHA, will post pics once she's officially on da road.

Hearld and Kumar escape from guantanamo bay, WHAT A DUMB MOVIE, let's just smoke some weed, and dream about weed, and wack off with weed, that'll solve all of our problems. A very mindless movie made for all the early teens who are heavy in to the mary-j and need some movie devoted to them to make them so happy in their little smoke filled lives. That was my take, feel free to check it out for yourself, but don't come crying to me, after you laugh for a few minutes and go, "WTF!?" (wow, wtf is common in this post)

Alrighty, Onto Today...

THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT IN KEMBLE. HOLY SHIT!!!!!

So, there I was outside, setting up my tent so it could dry out from the previous weekend. I heard sirens, thought nothing of it, then it hit me, "i'm not in a big city anymore, i'm in KEMBLE!"

I rushed to my car and flew up to the main road. An OPP went flying bye, so naturally I followed his lead. Not too far down the road was a T-BONE! It was very interested to have something exciting happen. Was a decent hit, wished I had my camera charged, I'll have to make sure I do that tonight so I have it from now on.

During this accident, I realized that Volunteer firefighters have no idea how to control traffic at a scene. For the first little bit my friend and I were directing traffic after the fireman almost caused a few more accidents. With my experience in the field I took decent control until the finally got their cones out and, sort of, setup the scene. 1 thing learned from that.

Second thing learned from that, is the tow truck operators have NO idea how to operate their equipment properly or safely. It was hard to watch, and I think their could be big changes in that industry, in this town/county/township. I may have to make a difference. We will have to wait and see what happens.

Aside from that, saw the Movie '21' Again, and still really enjoy it, love all the number games. I sometimes like a movie that make me think.

But, I'm off to watch some ICE ROAD TRUCKERS, then I'm off to bed. Gotta be up early, potential buyers are viewing the house tomorrow.......................

Shorty...

2008-08-03T02:44:00.001-04:00

Well folks today was another day... Quick updates...

Got a new truck today, well the one i referred too in last post, however, finally picked it up today. Will go into more detail on that screwed up story in next blog.

Test Drove a crazy niiiiice car... GM is scrap, but they may have gone right with this one, and their marketing, well haven't seen any advertising yet, so hmmmm... Again, next post ;)...

POI, is doing awesome, came on trip today to get truck, and says the truck is SEXY! Perfect, she just may be a keeper... :)

Watched a Herald and Kumar movie, will comment on that next entry as well...

VERY TIRED... long day... gotta get some rest so I can get up to say TTFN to my cuz headed back to the big city... Gotta remember to tighten her lugs, don't want em' falling of...

Me and my muffin made a list of stuff we have to do over the next week or two, so, yeehaw... POI works afternoons all week, so that kinda gives me and muffin a chance to get the shit done...

Well I will keep you posted (blogged) i dunno, not sure about this blog thing yet. Kinda like a virtual Diary, where everyone in the world has the key, just has to have the knowledge and understanding of the WORLD WIDE WEB (insert evil snicker here)...

Anyways back to what i was saying. Next post will have updates on everything, so keep your eyes open. And if your looking for me on twitter, DEVILE is my name, and _________ is my game... I'll have to get back to you for that one too...

NIGHT!

The second post

2008-08-01T20:24:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am again, writing my second post in my blog. Again this still a little weird posting on it, however, i'm sure it will increase in pleasure later, NOT WHAT I MEANT, GET YOUR MINDA OUTA DA GUTTER, hahaha...

Anyways, just thought I would bring up my POI... Let me first explain what a POI is... Technically it is someone who which you are in a relationship with, that is, as far as I know, exclusive... However, it is basically a relationship, where you are dating, but are not dating... Kinda hard to explain, like you go for dates but ya... you get it... Oh yes and a POI, is a Person Of Interest... Yes my cuz kept is unisex, i'm sure so she could use it, or let someone use it down the road. But it's basically a safety net, neither person expects anything in future, although it's like a BETA version of your relationship, always changed can be made, or it can be ended just like that with out any hard feelings... Best explanation i can give.

WTF, is with fucking homeland security saying they can seize our laptops at any time if they feel like it. Then they can copy our information or whatever they what to do with it. Then they can keep the laptop. What kind of crap is that. So, if you do lots of traveling across border, i suggest having a computer for each end of the 'world'. So either i will ship my laptop across border or I will not travel with it. Alright enough with this rant before FBI show up at my door on Canadian Soil. HAHAHA

So today, was a pretty simply day. Learned many things about how the Ontario Driver's Licensing and Vehicle licensing system works, that a simple grinding sound can be fixed with some copper LUBE, as well as apparently I type way faster than my brother could imagine, although i find it just fast enough to get what i need on the screen when i need it. My brother and I were arguing about Dodge vs. Chevy basically, because I am a MOPAR fan and he is a fan of GM(SCRAP). See I just purchased dodge, and my brother was telling me that fuel economy is way better on a GM... well i was looking on the internet to prove him otherwise and of course i find that they are equivalent. He told me that i was lying and all the typing i was doing was just creating the web site to show him that they were equal... Wow computer illiterate people piss me off.

Anyways, I believe there is a Mac Book Pro in my future as well as an iTouch... I have always wanted to get into Mac's and get away from these rancid PC's... however, I believe my cuz has supported me so I will give it a shot, if I don't like it I could probably sell it. But I'm sure I'll like it, get rid of this rancid PC once i get used to my Mac.

Anyways, I'll try to come up with better things to talk about on my blog, maybe some news or something interesting maybe. Not really to sure what to right on here, but cuz said anything and everything, so guru she be, i shall follow thee. Anyways, this is it for now...

P.S. What the F**K emoticon is represented by this symbol =:B (Oh, apparently it's a sleeping rabbit?!?!?!?!?!)

First Blog

2008-08-01T03:24:00.000-04:00

Well hello everyone... I'm just starting to catch on, on this blogging thing... Kinda strange at first but when you read around and try to understand it kinda all makes sense...

Many times in life you think your alone, however, your not, not only are you not alone, these are millions of people in the world, more technically advanced then yourself. Don't forget that there are as well millions of people in this world you are not even computer literate (most of my friends).
Sorry not too sure where I was headed with that.

Anyways, hello to blogging world, my name is Matt and I was born and raised in Grey-Bruce country... Very much a hick/drug/retirement community. I'm not gonna lie, it is pretty depressing.

Today in the paper (well i guess yesterday now, since it is 3:30 in the morning) was talking about someone being beaten and stabbed because of their race. Now, I just find it strange that somehow this community is still stuck very deep in the past. Why can't everyone just get along. I think a big part of it is how limited everyone's knowledge is on the computer. That or all these little bastards that think they can just beat on someone becuase of their race, should be forced to live in a metropolis, on their own without thier friends to help them, then they can learn that people are still people, and you aren't tough, there is always someone bigger and stronger then you, willing to kick the shit outa you!

I can't believe one of my friends is still running dial-up interenet... LIKE WTF... althought his parents are just a couple out of those millions who aren't computer literate, so really they have no need for anything faster than dial up. Wait what am i saying... Who doesn't need high speed, look, if you use the internet at all, HIGH SPEED is a MUST!!!! without high speed, there shouldn't be an internet. i remember dial, it fucking sucked... no more will i ever operate on dial-up i'd rather use the slow network internet through my crackberry on telus than freakin dial up. Even to have to hear those sounds, it's like a nail on a chalk board.

I'm kinda glad i'm the age I am... I was born too late for many things, however, i think just the right time for technology...shit i'm going off on another tangent, better re create this so it can be another paragraph. Ok sorry, now that that's done... Alrighty then... Ok back to being born at the same age... I think i should've been born in the 70's or so, i'm no history major, talk to Brad about that... Anyways, the time just after the first fuel crisis, where there was all he fast cars, the chargers, challengers, mustang, YEEHAWW.... i really want to get into that now, however the way FUCKING fuel is going, i don't think i have a big chance in that industry... So i will stick to my trucks, slightly underpowered, however, will still get dirty and get me to the camp site in the farm field on the lake (good times).

Wow, my cuz (the mac guru, links to her later) told me that i should start a blog, and i said 'wtf would i write about' she said everything. Well somehow i have typed this whole thing in a few minutes. So anyways, i guess i will go to bed, I will try to keep this updated, for those of you who are reading it... (hahaha) not likely anyone so really this is just for my own enjoyment...

Oh ya, something quick to add, i believe i ordered a Mac Book Pro, but i put it on my visa which my limit is like half the price of the pro, so we'll see if i actually get it... AHHAHAHA... wish me luck. Night all (i guess that's just me for now)